fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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