erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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