Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
