Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
