is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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