And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
