I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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