Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
