Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
