I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
