thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
