After last night, I could never be a politician.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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