Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
