You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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