The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
