I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
