There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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