You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
