Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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