my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
