I hate your face
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
