I need help removing her.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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