Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
