Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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