I molested 6 butterflies tonight
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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