Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize