Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
