dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
