her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
