I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
