Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
