Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
