Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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