We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
