so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize