You just made me feel so damn special
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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