i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
