Only a mothe r could love this liver
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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