Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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