dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
