awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I am one with the molecules
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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