I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Randomize
