Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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