Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
