Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
