READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
being pregnant is like rehab
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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