hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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