Pants 0. Shit 1.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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