her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
