I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
