Non-Jews are for practice
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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