My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Bring me that man meat
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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