From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
