Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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